A Love Letter to Your Future Soulmate

By Jo Phillips

As we enter the festive period either surrounded by our loved ones or the overbearing ‘have you met anyone special yet’ drunk get-togethers, we often can’t help but reflect on where we are in our lives. Unfortunately for some, the search for love is a lustful hunt that only becomes more and more desperate.

Enter actor, writer and Drag King Daisy Doris May’s alter ego – Steve Porters. Want to learn how to be the ultimate ladies man? How do you get to the next base? Don’t panic – iPod DJ and self-taught feminist Steve has got you covered.

Here to swoop the ladies off their feet this Christmas and also share the lessons of love and lust, just in time for those unbearable family gatherings.

Ahead of Porters’ lessons at Soho Theatre, 14th – 16th December, one of the charmer’s top tips this Christmas is to manifest. And manifest your next moves on the boardgame of love by heading into the New Year with a letter to your soulmate.

For those in need of inspiration, here’s Steve’s.


dear future soul mate.

its Stevo here.

we haven’t met yet but i cant wait until we do. Bin lukin 4 u 4 a while u kno…

listen. i kno ive had my time bein a player n that but when i meet u… everyfing ig gunna change.

pls find below 10 fings i hope to luv about u.

  1. im lookin 4 sum1 who isn’t afraid of gettin close. I love that we can cuddle and spoon while we sleep.
  1. i respect the fact that ur a powerful lady as well as stunnin.
  1. just how i have my very own mornin routine which includes my 5-step facial care and mirror  affirmations, i luv tht u have ur own routine. I got time 4 that.
  1. i luv the way you luv my mum. She’s always gonna be the most important lady in my life n i love that u kno that.
  1. really into the way u support my iPod DJ career… means a lot to have my lady kno wot my passions r.
  1. do u remember this song… “i like the way u move”...? Well. yeh. That.
  1. U luk so pretty without make-up n that. Naturally pretty.  I wonder who u got ur beautiful eyes frm…? #swoon
  1. i luv the way we go on adventures n that. Ur always so full of ideas. Maybe i cud take u wiv me for our next holiday? We got this wikid place in south of france. Ur gonna luv it.
  1. i luv ur natural scent. Your aroma. Your pheromones. U can chuck away ur lil bottle of DIOR cos girl… u dont it.
  1. but most of all. more than anyfing. I love ur VIBEZ. Ur either born wit them or not. N u got them.

kisses n that

Steve Porters. #lockupurdaughters


Guildfordian Steve Porters (Lock up UR Daughters) is a self-taught feminist on a mission to become the greatest iPod DJ out of Surrey. Despite thinking he is an ultimate ladies man, it’s unsure to where Steve has gone beyond the ‘third base’. Despite all of his flaws, Steve is always listen’… learnin’… and lovin’ His mockumentary ‘WORK EXPERIENCE’ is being developed with SISTER and South of the River.

For more insight and tips, How to Flirt: The TED XXX-mas Edition will be at Soho Theatre from Thursday 14th – Saturday 16th December 2023, 10:30pm

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